As I posted last week, we went into L&D on Saturday the 5th for a non-stress test. During the test, nurse Shannon told me what to look for as signs that labor was about to begin. I listened to her but in the back of my mind thought, "There's no way this kid is coming out before the induction." We went home that morning and a little while later something came over me and I thought that maybe this was the day... I hadn't shown any signs, but just had a gut feeling that my labor would start anytime. So a few hours later around 4:20pm while John and I were taking a lovely afternoon nap, I felt the first contraction. At first I didn't know if that's what it was, because it wasn't how people described it. It just felt like a really intense menstrual cramp that lasted for about 30 seconds. 15 minutes later, there was another one. Then an hour later, 2 more at 15 minutes apart. At 6:00, the intensity grew. I wrote this blog post at that time, but didn't post it:
I think I'm in early labor! I'm not going to post this entry until after the fact, in case I'm wrong. But since about 4:20 today, I've been having early labor contractions. They are about 14 minutes apart, lasting 30-60 seconds. They were very mild at first, and now are getting more intense. It's all in my lower abdomen, and they feel just like horrible menstrual cramps. Then when the contraction is over, I'm fine. Like right now, I feel great. So we'll see how this develops overnight! It could be nothing, or could go on for a few days, there is just no telling. On another note, John is proving to be the best coach ever. Right as one of my last really painful contractions started and I began to panic, John grabbed my hands and reminded me to breathe. He started breathing with me and brought me back to reality. I'm so incredibly lucky for this man!
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After I wrote that, the mild cramps became more uncomfortable, enough that I just couldn't ignore the pain anymore. John and I were watching the Blazer game, playing Scrabble, and I took a long bath to keep myself occupied, but soon those things weren't keeping me distracted. Contractions started coming every 10 minutes, then 8, 6... At the same time, I had some flu-like symptoms which I was also warned about. Let me just say... Not fun. At 11pm, they were 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long and had been that way for an hour. OHMYGOD, that's the 5-1-1 rule they taught us in childbirth prep class! When that happens, you have the green light to go to the hospital. So I called Labor & Delivery, told the nurse what was happening, and she said to me in an excited voice, "Ok Lindsay, are you ready to come to the hospital?" Was I ready? I've had my bags packed for weeks!! Yes, I am ready, so let's get this show on the road! John, with the largest smile I have ever seen in my life, rushed around the place making sure he got everything he needed while I sat on the couch breathing and cussing my way through the pain. Finally we had everything together and left the house. We decided not to make any phone calls to family or friends until we got there and knew what was happening, since we had no idea how far along I was. Early labor can last for hours or DAYS, and with our luck I was sure I was in it for the long haul.
We arrived at L&D and were brought to a room where I was checked and told I was dilated to a close 2cm. BUMMER. Nurse Stefanie told us to walk around for a couple of hours in hopes that I would progress more and be able to be admitted into the hospital. So, we walked around the hospital... And walked... And walked... For what seemed like days, was only an hour and 15 minutes. I was so uncomfortable and just felt that there HAD to be progress! We made our way back to L&D and Stefanie checked me again. Sorry, no cervical change at all. We then had 2 options– go home with a couple of Ambien sleeping pills to sleep through the night, then see how things progress at home. Or, stay at the hospital and receive a "drug cocktail", a nice shot in the butt of morphine and something else to let me sleep and I'd likely wake up at 4cm. We opted to stay, in hopes that we wouldn't leave L&D AGAIN without a baby. Stefanie said there's a small chance the drug wouldn't work but that would be rare. I was excited for some relief and rest! She said to push the call button if it didn't work and she'd try something else. So I got the shot and right away felt sleepy. John settled into the cot next to me and we both fell fast asleep. About 5 minutes later, I woke up to the same excruciating pain in my uterus. Um excuse me, wasn't I supposed to be able to sleep through these?? After the contraction was over, I reached for the call button but was so groggy that I couldn't see it, and suddenly fell asleep again. Another few minutes later, I woke up to another strong contraction! And again reached for the call button, but passed out before I could make it. This continued on for a good 5 hours, and I was miserable. At 8:00 in the morning John woke up (well rested, lucky guy!) and I called the nurse in to check me. What was the verdict? 3cm. AAAH!! There was no way I had been going through that much pain to be only that far along. I was so tired and in pain but tried to stay hopeful. Midwife Karen Parker Linn was on call over the weekend, and came in to discuss the options at this point. She said if I stayed at the hospital any longer, they'd have to do some things to help me progress. Meaning pitocin, which didn't sound like any fun at the time. Or, we could go home and labor on my own for awhile. We all decided together that the best plan was to go home. Again. Without a baby. Ugh! They gave me some Ambien and I planned to take it as soon as I got home to sleep through the day.
An hour and 2 Ambien later, I was unable to sleep in my own bed. And my contractions were worse than ever! I was miserable and told John around 5pm that we had to go back. This just wasn't right and I couldn't tolerate it any longer! We got to the hospital and the nurses recognized us and said, "We thought we'd see you a few hours ago!" Got into yet another hospital room, another cervical check and I was barely at 4cm. I was about to lose it. I had been laboring for 28 hours at this point, was in SO much pain and just exhausted. At the rate I was going they thought I'd have the baby the next day, in the morning if I got lucky. Did I really have it in me to go another 12+ hours? How badly did I want to stick to my natural birth plan? I cried and told John how sorry I was, but just didn't think I could do it any longer. He comforted me and assured me that he understood, and was proud of how far I had gone. At 7pm, I finally got some relief and received an epidural, and Karen also broke my water. That was the weirdest feeling! It was like I had peed all over myself. Very odd. At 9:15, Karen checked me and I was still 4cm, 100% effaced, and the baby was a -2 station, meaning he hadn't dropped all the way (still!) The best next step was to start pitocin to get those contractions moving along in hopes of having a baby at some point in my life.
For the next couple of hours, the nurses were in and out of our room, turning up the pitocin every 30 minutes. Around 11:30pm, she came in to turn it down. Karen then came in to explain why... She showed us on the monitors that after each pitocin-induced contraction, the baby's heart rate would drop. This would be considered normal if it were happening DURING the contraction, but because it was after it was telling them that he wasn't tolerating the drug at all. At this point, I still needed to dilate 6 more cm, the baby had to drop, he was posterior, and he'd have to endure a couple hours of pushing. In Karen's 36 years doing what she does, she saw this happen over and over again, and the best thing to do would be to get the baby out as soon as possible... Meaning, it was time to talk c-section. At this point, I was ready to have my baby in my arms, and John and I agreed that this would be best for him. Dr. Grant wasn't on call that weekend, so another doctor would have to deliver the baby. But Karen had called her anyway to tell her what was happening, and Dr. Grant said that she would drop what she was doing to be there for us! I felt so great knowing she would be the one delivering the baby, and felt even better about the decision. Karen then said she would arrive in about 30 minutes and we'd get going. Um, what? In half an hour I'll be having a baby?!?!? AAH!! Finally, it was time. I wasn't scared at all and felt so good about our experience. I labored naturally for 28 hours with John by my side. He coached me through each contraction, holding my hands, massaging my back, swaying back and forth, breathing along with me. He reminded me to relax and that soon enough it would all be over, and we'd finally have our baby. I felt so close to him, and I knew the decisions we made were all in the best interest of our son.
Dr. Grant arrived at the hospital, gave us a hug and said she'd see us in the OR. They gave John a set of scrubs, upped my epidural, and wheeled us in to the operating room. The team of nurses, Dr. Grant and Karen got to work quickly, but before starting they turned on music... Christmas music! Hello, did they know me or what?! What's better than listening to Ingrid Michaelson's "Winter Song" as my baby is being delivered? After what seemed like hours, at 12:16am on December 7, 2009, I heard the most amazing sound I will ever hear in my life... The first cry coming from Oliver Robert Zogas. I burst into tears (and am crying now as I write this!) and couldn't believe that after all these years of dreaming about my baby, he was finally here. Separated from me by a blue curtain, just moments away of showing his little face, I continued to cry. John, who was seated right behind me, cried, too, and caught this all on video.
(Disclaimer: They let him tape the baby during the cesarean as he was being delivered, so there are blood and guts at one point!)
The Birth of Oliver from Lindsay Zogas on Vimeo.
Our worlds have changed forever and we couldn't be happier. John has amazed me in more ways than I ever thought possible... He is an incredible father already, constantly rocking and soothing and loving our baby. At the hospital he changed every single diaper, because he wanted to and was excited that he got to do that for his child. He was by my side during every feeding, so he could help me position the pillows and "shoosh" the baby to calm him down while I was trying to figure out how to breastfeed. At home he has been even more amazing, and I have never felt so blessed in my life as I do right now. Life is so very, very good.
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