I quit my job.

I made a very difficult decision the other day. I quit my job at Koopman Ostbo! Well, for the most part. I'm no longer a part-time employee and won't be going to the office each week on John's days off. They've agreed to keep me as a freelancer, and I already have a project in the works. But it will all be from HOME! It became very clear after my first day back at KO that it wasn't going to work out. I didn't realize just how much effort it would take to work for such a small amount of time! I had to wake up extra early to pump, get ready, deal with traffic, pay for parking, get settled at work just in time to have to take a break to pump again, pay for more parking, then leave around 2pm before I had to pump again. On top of that, I had a hard time concentrating because all I could think about was John and Oliver, hanging out at home without me. John enjoyed his days with Oliver and is completely capable of taking care of him, but I felt guilty that his days off were spent focused on the baby. He works such long, hard days and I know would like some time to himself on his off days. He didn't really get much of that if I was working. Plus, when were we supposed to have time together if we were both working on each others days off?? I thought a solution would be to just work a day or two a week. But if that was my schedule, I wouldn't be able to own any good, big projects like I used to because I wouldn't have the time to be responsible for them. So if I can't do what I'm good at, then why keep my job? I can see it working out better down the road, when Oliver is older and maybe in daycare a few days a week. But for now, it just doesn't make sense. All these things crept up very quickly after returning to work, but I was determined to give it my best shot. However, after only 6 days of working I realized nothing was going to change, and I had to suck it up and tell my boss. My heart was pounding as I dialed his number, and I almost started crying on the phone. Thankfully, he understood. And he wasn't surprised. We talked about this possibility during my pregnancy, so he's been prepared for the change.

John and I are so happy, and feel confident in this decision. It's a little scary but we know this was a good time to take the risk. I am plenty busy with freelance work, and will continue to grow my business to continue to be successful. I have dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom with a home office for a really long time, and feel so blessed that I have the most amazing and supportive husband who's making this possible. How lucky am I that I get to stay home every day with this little guy?